Excerpts
Can you imagine waking up tomorrow and having no anxiety at work, finances, marriage or health? Nearly every person in the world deals with anxiety and everyone deals with stress. There are many reasons for this epidemic, but anxiety comes as a result of how we handle the stress that we and others place in our lives. One of the primary causes of stress is comparative living, which comes as a result of trying to be “normal”. The T.R.I.A.L.S. method has been developed to help everyone in their daily routine and relationships so stress can be minimal, and anxiety can be avoided.
Roman emperor, Marcus Aurelius said, “I have often wondered how it is that every man loves himself more than all the rest of men, but yet sets less value on his own opinion of himself than on the opinion of others.” This thought paints a reality most live in. Breaking down the T.R.I.A.L.S. method and understanding the importance of each of these qualities will help in every area of life. This is where our journey begins.
As I entered college, the desire to be one of the “normal” ones became a silent enemy as I navigated my college campus for four years. After marriage and learning more about my extended family and close friendships, I realized the desire to be normal doesn’t go away. Normalcy is a sister to comparative living. In order to be “normal”, there must be a standard. Most of us struggle with comparing ourselves to others so we can be normal or maybe just a step ahead of normal.
On Marriage
There are three main components in the marriage relationship that are very helpful to couples of all ages. When common sense, preparation and communication are all blended harmoniously, we see a recipe for success in any relationship but especially within marriage. All three of these areas are discussed but there is an emphasis on communication. Poor communication or no communication can be seen in every problem that exists. Good communication is the key component to overcoming any problem.
On Parenting
We all know no two kids are the same. Many of us have been blessed with a “strong-willed” child or we might even go as far as saying stubborn child. How do we help kids who don’t appear to want help and seem to want to make parenting harder than it should be? After we get a proper view on the importance of communication between us and our children, we then must deal with understanding the definition of two key words when it comes to parenting: Discipline and Punishment. Within this arena, there are many fears we face as parents. T.R.I.A.L.S. provides the tools needed to overcome these fears and anxiety.
On the Job
When researching for the most stressful jobs in the world, I found the jobs that require an employee to put their life on the line were at the top of the list. Uncertainty within a career, whether it be danger or simply keeping our job can cause a great deal of stress. Add that to the fact that the overwhelming majority of people don’t love their job and it is easy to see why so much anxiety comes in and from the work place. What would it take for us to have our dream job? Is it possible to make our current job our dream job? Applying the T.R.I.A.L.S. method within our relationships at work will help us conquer fear and anxiety that prevents from enjoying where we spend so much of our time.
On Finances
Without a doubt, I would rather teach a class on sex than money. There are some things we can joke about and teach through, even if they make us a little uncomfortable. Money is not one of those things most of the time. Because we all come from different backgrounds, our view on money is going to be different. It is difficult, perhaps impossible, to come up with a “one-size fits all” formula to pinpoint where finances have caused anxiety and how to solve this problem.
I do not offer a solution to those under the poverty line to become wealthy or accuse them of being poor stewards. I do not address problems between socioeconomic classes of individuals. As normalcy and comparative living play such a big part in how we spend our money and the anxiety that comes as a result, it is my hope to help us all be more fiscally responsible, have a healthier view of money and how it affects our stress levels
On Health
Understanding the definition of health is vital for us to not allow anxiety to creep into our lives because of our physical health. Healthy simply means “free from disease”. Does this mean if I have a disease, I am doomed to have anxiety? No. We cannot always dictate our circumstances so we must do all we can to control the areas of life in which we can make a difference.
Nutrition and exercise are the two main components of physical health. There are many different diets and exercise plans that are effective but genetics play a much larger role than any nutritional guide or personal trainer’s advice. Understanding our limits and developing self-control are key factors in helping us avoid anxiety that is related to our health
On Grief
One of the keys to handling grief and anxiety that comes from grief is being prepared. We plan for nearly every aspect of our life and this is an area that merits preparation and a plan. If we have a plan for the way we respond to grief, anxiety will not be a part of our post tragedy situations. Application of the T.R.I.A.L.S. method helps us prepare for tragedy as it requires us to focus on others instead of ourselves in whatever circumstances we face.
On Leadership
One of the keys to handling grief and anxiety that comes from grief is being prepared. We plan for nearly every aspect of our life and this is an area that merits preparation and a plan. If we have a plan for the way we respond to grief, anxiety will not be a part of our post tragedy situations. Application of the T.R.I.A.L.S. method helps us prepare for tragedy as it requires us to focus on others instead of ourselves in whatever circumstances we face.